Today is…

Today is a new day.

I will focus on the positives.  No matter how bad things may seem, there are good things to be found if you can only look.  I may have lost my current position, but I do have somewhere else to work in the same company.  Even though it’s a significant loss of pay, by staying here there are other opportunities available only to people who already work here.  I have a home I enjoy.  Apart from being bipolar, I have my health.  No matter how bad I feel, I know there are others who love me and care what happens.  Even my cat is a positive with the company and affection she gives me.

I will look for joy in the simple things.  Enjoying that first cup of coffee out on the patio.  Soaking up the sunshine when I go out to take my breaks.  The smell of the grass that was cut this morning.  Completing a task, no matter how small.  Making it through another day.

I will appreciate my family and friends.  Although my immediate circle of friends is very small, the friends I do have are deep and true, and they have stood by me through all my struggles.   I’m blessed that I have so much love and support from my family.  I will seek out time with them and cherish every moment.  There are a lot of people who enjoy a huge social circle, but I’d rather have one good friend to 20 casual acquaintances.  I’m very fortunate to have the relationships I do.

I will continue to work on my treatment plan.  I have a new Dr. who is much more aggressive with the medicines and is working hard to find the cheapest alternatives to help with my finances.  I have seen a marked improvement just over the last two days with the discontinuation of one of my mood stabilizers.  I have more energy and my mood is actually improving.  My Therapist is very accommodating and continues to see me even with my insurance problems.  I’m very lucky that I found such an awesome therapist that has the style and technique that best fits my needs.

I’m going to accept my illness for what it is.  Yes, it can be debilitating at times.  It can drag me down into an absolute hell.  It puts me into unsafe and out of control situations that are harmful and dangerous.  This disease threatens my very life.  But with acceptance comes understanding and with understanding comes healing.  There may not be a cure, but there are ways to manage the worst of it and live a reasonably normal life.  I just have to keep trying.

My writings have provided a huge source of love and support.  Being able to organize my thoughts and express my feelings openly and honestly helps keep me grounded and always puts my situation into perspective.  When I feel weak and alone I have scores of uplifting comments I can reread and remind myself that I’m not so alone after all.  The tremendous outpouring of support has provided a very positive energy that is making a huge difference. I appreciate this more than I can ever express.  My blog has been an amazing journey and has taught me so much about myself and others.  I don’t know how I managed without it.

Yes, today is a new day.  I am determined to make the most of it and live it the very best I can.  I still have my struggles and I may or may not succeed today.  But tomorrow is another new day, and another chance to tackle the demons and fight for my life.

Today is a day to survive.

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9 Responses to Today is…

  1. A nice positive today. I am so glad to read this.

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  2. I love your last line–today is a day to survive–so true in so many cases

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  3. moonshine says:

    You have a patio? That’s great news!

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  4. Sometimes I just don’t want to count my blessings. Sometimes I feel like I have the right to take some things for granted and I’m not going to list my entitlements among BLESSINGS. Of course, that’s not true, but in those times, I try to at least enumorate how things could be worse, and then count the blessings that come along with those things not being in play.

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  5. phoxis says:

    Little things can often be a source of huge joy, when you change the perspective and try to communicate with those. I am really happy to read this post. Keep going on, i will be checking how you are doing tomorrow.

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  6. I discovered your blog when you were freshly pressed. Congratulations!
    We all need regular meals, regular bedtimes and rest, even when sleep eludes us, fresh air and exercise.
    We all have to constantly strive to replace unhelpful behaviour with something better.
    Listening to the radio can be easier than watching television, as you can do other things at the same time. Creative activities are helpful, writing and music included. Making music with others can help with socializing, either in a group of instrumentalists or a choir.
    Drawing, painting and doing puzzles can be very absorbing and help with concentration, as can craft work of any kind.
    It is a question of trial and error to find what is best for you. It may not always be the same things. Carry on writing and try to get out in the sunshine.

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  7. SimplySage says:

    As one who walks the halls of a hospital daily, when you have your physical health you are light-years ahead. I see the eyes of those confined to the hospital bed for illness, all ages, all diseases, and they all long for good health. Some have lost it through their own foolish choices but so many through no fault of their own. Be thankful for your gift of good physical health.
    When I walk across the parking lot after parking my car, I thank God every day that I can do it. And after my long day at the hospital I thank God that I can leave. I left so many behind who can’t. I feel so, so lucky.
    I keep a gratitude journal and try to write three things down everyday that I’m thankful for. It’s great to read them when I get down. You’re discovering the power of gratitude. It will keep you afloat. Plus, you are being pro-active in dealing with your problems. Good for you!
    Again,
    Alexandria

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  8. judithhb says:

    I am reading your posts at 7.30am on a bright morning in Wellington, NZ. A world away from you but this third post really lifted my spirits. You are doing so well and with the encouragement and support around you I know you can survive. Alexandria suggested a gratitude journal. This is a great idea. You do have things to be grateful for and listing them will bring them to the front of your mind. Sending hugs and good wishes from the other side of the world.

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  9. Robyn Keys says:

    I’m reading through this blog, month by month, right from the very beginning. I’m quite enthralled by it – your honesty, your insights, your oh-so-human ponderings… Any book that comes from this will definitely be a top-seller, and I for one will be right there buying at least one copy, and more to give to friends. Can’t wait to read more! Really look forward to starting my day with this new delight, and you are the only one I have to thank for that. You’re brave, and true, and it’s a pleasure getting to know a little about you, and hence a little bit about others, and the meanderings of my own mind, too.

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