Determination

It’s been a roller coaster week.  I’ve been up and down more than a hooker’s shorts and I’ve struggled to maintain some sort of balance.  But today is going to be better.

Today will be better!  I am determined!

I am determined that I won’t let negative people influence my mood.  I will remember that the negativity is theirs, and not take it on as my own.   I am determined to remain positive.

I am determined not to allow others to control the way I think.  I will not let anymore ‘make’ me angry.  I will not let anyone ‘make’ me sad.  I own my emotions and will not give anyone else the power to take them away from me.

I am determined that I am going to focus on my job.  I’ve been so distracted this week that I’ve been letting my responsibilities slide.   I have enough to worry about without adding the fear of losing my job.  I will perform!

I am determined that I will not let the anger overtake me.  As I speed up coming out of the depression the anger builds.  Understanding your own emotions is the first step to maintaining, and I will walk away from the frustration that leads to the rage.

I am determined to remain calm and manage the events of the day without panic or overreactions.  I know I’m a professional; I know I’m mature;  I know I don’t play games.  I must remember this and keep my emotions in check and reasonable.

I am determined not to run my mouth uncontrollably.  It’s so easy to let my brain get away from me and turn into verbal vomit that only makes me look stupid and annoying.  I will think before speaking.

I am determined to fulfill my responsibilities.  Not only just at work, but I will take care of the little car problems I’ve been having, and paying the bill that‘s due today, and following through making plans that I’ve committed to do.  I will be responsible.

I am determined to look for simple pleasures and enjoy the day.  There are always good and bad events and it’s a choice on what to focus on and how to react.  I will embrace the good and manage the bad.

I am determined to love those that are most dear to me.  Life is too short to miss any opportunity to let the important people how you feel about them.  I will not be scared of my feelings and I will not suppress or hide them.   I will tell all that count that I love them.   I will allow myself to love and bask in the warmth and comfort that is the result.

I am determined not to let my illness rule my life.

I will not.

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