The Darkness and the Light

The darkness is upon me.
It covers me like a blanket that’s dank and wet
weighing me down
leaving me without energy to move.
Thoughts come hard but those that do
are deep and dark
feeding on themselves, leaving no room
for anything else.
I pray to my God not for relief but release
granting not recovery but just enough
strength for the cowards solution
and that final way out.

I want to die.

The vale begins to lift and the clouds of despair
are parting
seeping into my pit and displacing the gloom.
I see there are flowers
and clear fresh air
that breathing in deeply cleanses
the cobwebs in my mind.
Things that once seemed impossible
become easy again
their accomplishment bringing a satisfaction long forgotten
The friends and family that I had shunned
are waiting for me, and open their arms
to welcome me back into the world
I had longed to leave behind.

I’m glad I stayed.

But it doesn’t stop there
and the energy grows
with boundless optimism
I become brilliant and am quick to share
all the wealth of experience and knowledge I now posses
my abilities eclipsing all others less fortunate than I.
In spite of my efforts to raise them to new heights
they do not meet my expectations and disappoint me
with their failures.
Luck y for them my good humor and cheer
keeps away their feelings of inadequacy.
I think my God daily that I’ve been chosen
to bring joy and opportunities
to the fools that surround me.

Life is good.

But it doesn’t stop there.
My energy grows
along with my annoyance
that in spite of my efforts to elevate the poor slobs
they will not listen.
They are idiots
who can’t appreciate just how much
better I am then they.
Can’t they see that what I know
can save them from the miserable existence
that they have to endure?
I pray to my God
to grant them the realization
that a superior being such as myself
can make their lives easier.

Life becomes hard.

I start to get angry
being impeded by the lack of vision
of those who believe they are my superiors.
They are jealous and afraid
They get in my way
My anger grows into rage
with the feeling skin can hardly contain
the explosiveness of my mood
The spring in my chest is wound too tight
threatening to break at any moment and shattering me
into a million different pieces
Dear God,  make it stop.

My life is overwhelming.

But this too shall pass.
And it will all begin.

Again.

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